Types of Strokes.

There are as many types of strokes as there are fingerprints, and as many timeframes to heal as there is - well pieces of string. Don't you believe it, this is the number three killer in the world and chances are it's happened to some one and been well documented online. I can tell you find out the location of the stroke and size of it and you will be able to pin point the affects and likely outcomes.

Here is my experience:

I had a Sub Archinoid Haemorrhage, my arterial wall had a malformation and it blew much like a headgasket - resulting in a bloodvessel bursting and making a bleed - aka a mess. They call this an Anneurysm.

It was a left Pericallocal Artery in the area of the Corpus Callosum - which is the matter that collates left and right hemisphere information and interperates it for me: eg move left leg so much, or Feel pressure on your skin is a shoulder tap NOT a dangerous icy panic that spreads through my consioucness in fear.

My former skills that lacked enthusuiasm such as spelling and maths, have suffered the most. To get them back I must retrain the brain, which acts now as if it were autistic, I can retrain it, and it will grow and eventually understand the correct signals.

My Mechanical abilities at movement need to be relearnt and my limbs feel like stumps but are totally manipulatable, eg my typing and sitting skills are good. My spelling is carp and maths looks and thinks like a foreign language.

On day four they climbed into my head with tools and chisels and a vacuum cleaner and clipped the bleed, mopped it up and stapled up a 20cm hairline gondwana like chism.

After which I started healing. without the drugs I was choosing the happy escapism of death. It's not fearful but relief that beconed me, so if you've just lost a loved one, they are at peace.

My speech is not improving since week one, however within that first week, I got to survive. And talk again. Strangers are like maths, they make me nervous and don't get me started on my depth perception when walking, I was asked to skip - ok weird and weird, hopping? Flat on my nose. That ain't going to happen, and frankly I'm OK with that.

Month 1: Coming back I had to deal with the lack of Government assistance, the lack of funding, a stand down to get the dole (unemployement) and a lack of dignitty. Obviously mine was survivable. But with such a lack of support, promised 2 hours a day home help - Received none. It's been a negative experience and the brain is prewired to be negative now, tis' a huge struggle to find opportunity and promise in this financially bereft world.

Month two: I have friends who are helping me renovate my home so I can take in boarders, who knew they were a tax free income. Where there is life there will always be promise. One must seek it out and embrace it.

The boarder idea was great, but I live rurally and simply never happened, I advertised for 6 weeks or longer, then emptied the house to rent it out, but tennants seem flakey and I can't deal with flaeky, the what ifs, they don't pay, trash it or something breaks and I can not afford to fix it?

So now the house is on the market and it's got no takers in this recession, and yes, I'd like to get back at least what I paid for it, and yes all the improvements. I may be shit outa luck there.

It's month five, and I haven't had another stroke, my bag is packed but it's looking unlikely for the hospital, more likely a road trip. The money is the biggest concearn, the hair has grown back, the legs and arms are still numb and tingly and don't interpret hot or cold correctly and whilst there will be no hopping in my future, I will be OK now. I feel like I'm dizzy and tipsy when walking, and have lost three jobs so far this year. sTill trying but loosing my mojo.

The second the house sells, I lose my retirement plan but so be it. I need the money. Some one will get one awesome back yard filled with three year old Peacans, Walnuts, mandarins and oranges, tamirrillos and limes and several banana palms as well as all the other palms, and a stream and - it's still depressing but I will take my money when I get it and live.

Plan 58-12aciii - House not selling, will buy second hand furniture and rent it out as a holiday home - keep the retirement dream and either go bankrupt or get a real job that pays well and live happily ever after. Certainly not there yet.