A stroke is a painful reminder of our mortality.

Increasing awareness - what can I tell a person who hasn't had a stroke?

I need your help. Contact me, update me with your situation. Advise is free, friendly and non-judge mental.

If you have suggestions please email me. All info welcome, no promises I can get through it all in a timely manner - and yes, if you spot a spelling mistake I do want to correct it, so helpful advise welcome. Give me the name of the page and the experience you offer.

Stroke survivors don't need sympathy we need patience and love, touch and kindness. We have a starting point, and we won't like it. We need knowledge, love and motivation.

Muscle memory will get us so far, the brain does knit-itself back together, it does rewire to a degree, but knowledge that it can happen is a huge crucial step. Time and rest, in a relaxed loving environment is supportive. Financial support aids us, as well as genuine assistance. I was unlucky to have a stroke prior to my retirement, this I call A Midlife Crisis. If you think a midlife crisis is a red sports car? Think again, think pain, crippling anxiety, then you will understand a loss of income and mobility, then take a running leap without falling over - then we can talk.

We probably just lost our job, so need an income. We need reliable secure stability; in all things. Don't get flaky on us, we will count on you heart and soul.

We have the emotional issues of fear, disappointment and anger. We have just achieved a miracle by surviving something so untenable, so painful, determination is what is required now, on your part - remember we are emotionally two years old now, we will improve if you nurture us.

Personally, my skin may not feel heat or touch, it will respond as a cat would to a pat, but only if I can visually see you coming toward me. Don't approach unseen, if I can not visually anticipate the touch, it will be instantly misinterpreted as panic and unknown. I can't tell the difference of a pat on the shoulder or a sharp blade of crushed ice. I go into instant panic and anger at the unknown. Talk to me, approach within my field of vision, I get use to it and respond appropriately after I get use to it again but it takes months, to reinitialize the new normal. Visually my cognitive function is impaired, my senses are rewired, reset, my emotions raw.

This is me at three months, it's getting better. I felt my right foot yesterday, normally I feel like I am walking on stumps. You can imagine the balance issues. My right foot was normal for less than a minute but it meant the world to me. Not broken just not correctly reconnected as yet. I massage the limbs I can't feel twice a day for as long as my hands work. Half the time I can't feel a hand shake. I hold my own hand as it isn't recognized by my brain as my own, and it's comforting.

Always use multi choice questions - I will respond negatively if you let me, it's unfortunately the easiest response. In a service station if I have forgotten to eat, don't' ask me if I want a pie at 9pm, a horrid stale 14 hour pie from a warmer. Frankly you will hear disgust in my voice, of course I don't want that excuse for nutrition - my body needs to heal, not curl up further and die? My answer will be an overloud NO. What you should ask is - Do you want something to eat like an apple or a banana before we get home?

By year 4 I bought myself a Nutri-bullet-blender. My throat now raw from the stomach valve not closing and releasing randomly spurts of bile, making me ill if I were rundown. So to rest my throat, I hydrate near constantly, food being an irritant from it's mere shape or smell. Actually bad smells get stuck in my throat and also cause me to lose my lining. A weak throat, means a weak bladder, added to it the constant throat irrigation, and peeing is a constant wakeful issue. So I now know the valves like the tendons are damaged, the tendons are taught when they shouldn't be, the valves loose when they should be taught. Not a retraining issue, a mere fact of change, irreversible. Walking is ever so slightly lopsided as my left takes the load from the belligerent right. Massages are in order constantly to aid the spine from it's new crookedness.

My brain is just as quick but the delivery of the words is retarded, sometimes I can only find a similar word and it will be close but wrong. Have patience. This is called Aphasia. The connections in the brain need to relearn words, habits, associations and sensations. Abulia is another new word. The absence of willpower, and the inability to follow through with an action. This can be so self defeating, it's incapacitating, and anxiety and stress levels can shoot sky high, with blood pressure also making menopause seem like a tame rabbit. You don't know if your hot, cold or if you've already lost something, you may not recognize it if it's in your hand, as your brain no longer cognitively remembers feel or touch or shape. This with me, came and went, so I would search and search for keys in my hand. It is more than frustrating, it's debilitating. Sad and lonely and stupid.

Don't smoke. Your body allows you 90 seconds to come up with an informed decision. On anything. Smoking changes the blood vessels, abrasive on the outside and weak on the inside. So regardless if it was a clot or an aneurysm; smoking is suicide. Life is precious and it's an affront to us trying to quit to see healthy people take this choice. Just lie to your self and say - within 90 second of your craving - I haven't smoked for 3 months, why start now! Say this over and over from day one, and I insist you lie to yourself - day 1 = 30 days; how long have you been thinking about it? It's true and your mind will accept this, add an additional day each day, AND as it takes 21 days to start a habit and 3 months to accept it you will be on your way. Just reading this means 30 days and three minutes.

Reduce salt. The amount of pain a stroke causes is horrendous, personally before I was operated on I wished to die. It's that bad. Just reduce salt. Replace it with fruit. I was a five plus a day girl - if it was meat. Just try and be sensible.

Reduce stress, yes your broke, or changing jobs, or shifting, or need to as you can pay one bill out of six, or you've experienced a gazillion fricken earthquakes - what ever the cause maybe your trying to restart your life. Do it with support, create a time to just do more of what you love, fishing, sports of any nature, something physical. No watching TV will never count. No smoking doesn't count. Get more creative in the bedroom, just do something that gets the blood flowing, pump it up and enjoy the physical changes as you look and feel - better. I stroke happens to babies, infants, children, teenagers and upwards.

Get medical trauma life cover when your young, get sorted when you first get a job. Do it for the cost of a mortgage. Don't do it for a piddly amount. When it's paid out it reduces your entire life insurance policy and you can never get another one afterwards.

To me maths and spelling are gone, they are Left Hemisphere functions that I don't' care for, didn't before and now they are gone. I am super impressed with myself when I can work out how many sleeps till an event, I need associations instead of maths, to visualize things to understand them now. It's definitely simple, I either love or don't. Touch or am deprived.

Remember if you make your multi choice question longer than 90 seconds my initial negative reaction will be gone by the time you've finished - so give a lot of thought to how you ask a question. Don't let us be lazy, it will kill us. Our brain is working on overdrive, we have proven our commitment to being alive - your turn now.